It's official. My love affair with Instagram is now over. Yes, I know. First world problem. I know.
For a little while now, I've become increasingly aware of how my energy is spent or dissipated during my days. And I've noticed that I check in on Instagram way to often. And it's not good, not for me and not for my family. Not good for my little one.
I have followed a bunch of wonderfully talented people who take beautiful photographs. And while on the one hand I do find them inspiring, I also find it draining. It feels a little bit like my life isn't pretty enough, or something to that effect. I know that is really silly. I know that a lot of the images I look at are very well styled, and are not snapshots of real life. I start to be able to tell the difference. And a lot of beautiful real life photos are there also, and they really are beautiful. Beautiful places, beautiful people, beautiful kids. And I look at them and I wonder why - why am I looking at photos of kids of a person who I don't know, will never meet, will never actually know. Why am I looking at photos of other people's lives instead of living my own?
Every time I pick up my phone and look at Instagram, I am for all intents and purposes 'gone'. I am completely zoned out from my life in front of me, and totally focused on other people's lives. What a waste of energy! I don't have that sort of energy to waste these days. And I tell myself that I'm having a brief moment of time out when I look at Instagram, but it's not true. A brief moment of time out would be more like sitting, doing absolutely nothing, other than to breathe and ask myself 'how am I feeling, right now, what do I need, right now?'. And I do do that sometimes. But more often than not I have my head in my phone instead. And I wonder how that looks in the eyes of a toddler.
I feel like looking at Instagram is like a little 'drip.. drip.. drip..' on my energy. It's not a huge amount by any means, but it is there. A little leak. And I need to stop the little leaks. I guess you could say I have been doing a lot of inner work lately, and am starting to see more clearly where energy goes. What is energising, what is draining. What supports me in my days and what drains me. And as much as I love Instagram, it is more of a drainer for me than an energiser.
So I have decided, since I lack the willpower to just not look at Instagram, to close my account. I did the same thing with Facebook a few years ago now and it is not something I have ever regretted. The world we live in is a pretty social-media-mad place right now, especially if you do anything online. Like write a blog. But the reality for me (and I can only speak for me) is that the energy that I should be putting into my blog, would like to be putting into my blog, gets spent in other places instead - Instagram being the main offender for me. I have already realised that I'm not a tweeter, I sporadically pin things but really, I'm not a pinner, and Facebook - well, me and Facebook, we don't see eye to eye. I'm happy enough to just read blogs. I love reading blogs. I will save my energy for that instead, and for my family first and foremost.
To all the lovely people who have followed me on Instagram, and to the lovely people I have followed - thank you. I have enjoyed it very much. I just won't be there anymore.
a very good and brave decision. I could not anyway. Your decision gave me a lot to think about. I'll be thinking of what to give up, because this is already too much.
ReplyDeletePs. my instagram pictures sometimes find on my the blog
I know the too much feeling. There seems to be alway too much.
DeleteI'll be reading your blog still :)
thanks :-)
DeleteI've found myself contemplating along similar lines with a lot of my social media activities as of late... A few months ago (maybe more, I'm not even sure), I scaled back my participation on Instagram.... I still post there, but I've turned off my notifications and I rarely go see what others have posted.
ReplyDeleteFacebook is my big time suck right now.... If I'm not very mindful about it, I can literally spend hours on there clicking on links, wasting time, getting upset about stupid crap, and feeling very lonely because I'm trying to substitute Facebook in for real human interaction. But it's a double edged sword with Facebook, because I do belong to some rather lovely groups on there that I've found an amazing amount of support from and that seems to be the site that most of the communities of eCourses I've taken seem to be located... So, quitting altogether just seems like I'm cutting myself off too much.
It's a hard one. I can totally understand the cutting yourself off aspect. I really felt that I did that too, with Facebook. A lot of old friends, and the only way I kept in contact was on Facebook. But another part of me thought, well, in the pre-facebook era we either made the effort to stay in touch personally or we didn't. The world has changed!
DeleteI personally find it so hard to limit my use of social media if I have it readily available… so that's where my 'that's it I'm out' tendency comes from. My own misuse of my own time..
Well done......"life is not a rehearsal"
ReplyDeleteI could not agree more.
Deletegood going :-) i have refused to get into any social media except my blog. i feel so much of it is narcissistic and shallow: 'look at me!". whereas blogs offer more connection and depth.
ReplyDeletewhata strange world we now live in.
You know what, since I deleted my account, my world has felt so quiet. Just quiet. All that noise, all that shouting (and it definitely feels like shouting) 'look at me!' is just gone. And the quiet is just beautiful.
DeleteYes, it is a strange old world these days.
Waaah! I will miss you on Insty xx (But I hear you. Facebook is my energy drain, and I feel my blog Facebook page is on the way out...) xx
ReplyDeleteYeah I will miss your pretty posts Becs :) I totally understand the Facebook drain, I've never even gone there with my blog (despite this idea that you have to be across all the social media!). x
DeleteHi Jacqui, I got to your blog via Nikkiana. I definitely relate with you on feeling blah after surfing Instagram and Facebook. I just read an article on The Economist titled "Facebook is bad for you" that was really affirming with how I always end up feeling -- that scientists have found the most common emotion piqued by Facebook is envy. Thanks for sharing your willingness to quit that cycle!
ReplyDeleteHi loudlysilent, thanks for stopping by :) I'm interested to check out the article on The Economist. Honestly I am so glad I quit that cycle. I remember Facebook days and the hours of my life that I'll never get back because of it! I wasn't quite so bad with Instagram but still, it's kinda insidious. It just creeps into your life.
Delete