These freesias grow in cracks in the concrete, alongside weeds. This is the only place we find them on the property. Perhaps in days gone by there were more, maybe in the days before there was concrete. I often wonder what this house has seen. Many, many things, no doubt. Many people, many families. Some staying a long time, others not so long. I guess we fall into the not-so-long category. Maybe one day we'll come back. Or maybe we never will. As beautiful as this old house is, it is not the best fit for us right now. We have made our mark here, like most others before us.
This afternoon, wandering in the garden, William and I chatted to Wilma over the wire fence. I couldn't bring myself to tell her we're leaving. Weak? Yes. I can't help but feel a little bit like we're letting people down by leaving. We brought life, we brought [relative] youth; we brought a baby who the people in this town have been so wonderfully welcoming of. I don't really like goodbyes. So we'll tell people that we may come back, one day when it suits us better, and leave it at that. I will miss my little house on the dusty country road.
But I am looking forward to our new life, in a bigger town. Where we can truly live our values in a way that we can't do here. And in a week we'll be there, and gone from here. So I'm enjoying watching the freesias bloom, and the oak tree about to burst into life again, and the sage that I planted about to flower. Making the most of here, finding beauty everywhere.
Don't be sad. Just think of it as but a small step in many that you will make in your life.
ReplyDeleteOnce you are settled the many benefits to you and your family will out weigh the sadness. And you are right, you can always return. Look forward to hearing about your moving adventures - always fun with kids.
Claire @ http://howtobuildafarm.blogspot.com.au
I'm sort of dreading the 'moving with kids' part but on the flip side - I'll have my hands full with baby so will need to be less 'hands on' this move. But yes, the benefits will absolutely outweigh any sadness from leaving here.
DeleteThis is so sad, good luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
DeleteGood luck with the coming move, sadly life is full of changes, sometimes things work out well and other times not so good, but given time, you can adapt to most places and situations.
ReplyDeleteMy "dusty country road" lasted for 6 years, I was devastated to have to sell the horses but the move to town had to happen. We all do what has to be done at the time and move on with different opportunities, new friends,new community and many possibilities for things to be better.
The Freesias look so pretty, (the perfume is wonderful) maybe you could carefully remove some and pot them up to take with you as a connection to the country place.
Ooh, selling horses would be hard. I had a horse, and still do, but she lives at my mother's place now. I think one day we'll be getting those horses to look after when mum can't do it any more. Yes I guess you just adapt to the circumstances of life, and always manage to be fine with it.
DeleteThe perfume of the freesias is really beautiful, I've never had them before but they are just lovely.
Oh wow, you're leaving so quick! I hate goodbyes too, so if I lived in your town I wouldn't judge that answer. I told all of my students in Cambodia that we'd come back when we had a baby. Now they all message me poorly worded English facebook messages telling me to have a baby.
ReplyDeleteHaha maybe you just need to have a baby and go back!
DeleteWe have no idea if we'll come back here. If we do it won't be for a while, but we're at least leaving the option open. We've planted so many trees here, I want to see how they grow in years to come.
I love freesias, and the surprising scent of them as you walk down a suburban street. Who knows what lies in store for you in town? - many small pleasures, I am sure, just waiting to be discovered!
ReplyDeleteHave been reading your blog for a while now...really ever since I have been at home with my own little one. I guess I felt some comfort when things got a bit lonely that there was another mum and bub like us out there living in an old house in a little country town trying to live a bit differently. So I felt a bit sad to hear of your leaving. But of course I totally get the choice you needed to make for your family...and that's the most important thing really, that you do what is right for you! I just wanted to take a moment to tell you that and to wish you all the best in your move!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for commenting, and for reading. This made me a bit teary I have to say! I totally understand the bit lonely feeling. It's not an easy path. I am completely in two minds about this move (still) but the wheels are all in motion and I guess now we just go with it an see what happens. It helps to know there are other mums out there in a similar situation. Thank you for your well wishes :)
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