What's With Co-Sleeping Anyway?

We co-sleep with our baby. That is, he sleeps in our bed. Now I am aware that there are about a gazillion different opinions out there on how to parent a child, and I'm not in the business of saying our way is the only way. I'll just share what is working for us. We certainly weren't sure if this was the way to go or not and maybe our experience will help other new parents decide what is best for them.

Co-sleeping is to my mind the most natural thing for myself and my baby. Before he was born, we were just normal, run-of-the-mill people setting up our nursery with a bassinet and then a cot. Well, the cot is still waiting to be painted, the mattress is still wrapped in plastic and the bassinet worked for about 5 minutes. And our baby is nearly 6 months old. 

The first few weeks at home, our baby slept in the bassinet next to our bed. There were a lot of grizzles and a lot of settling [by us] involved. And usually, at some point in the early hours of the morning, I would snuggle him in with me, and off he would go to the most peaceful sleep. So it was only ever going to be a matter of time. 

Truth be told, I felt he was too far away from me in the bassinet too. He felt it, I felt it. My instinct told me to tuck him up next to me in bed, but I had researched co-sleeping, and I had fears that I would roll on him in my sleep, or somehow cause SIDS. There is a lot of propaganda getting around in Australia, and government warnings about the dangers of co-sleeping. I should have known better and listened to my instincts sooner.

So with all the cautions in the world, we started co-sleeping through the night with our baby. He only ever sleeps next to me, never my husband. There is a risk of a baby being squashed by anyone other than a breastfeeding mother. I read about studies that showed a breastfeeding mother would instinctively know where her baby was next to her, whereas a bottle-feeding mother would lose that instinct.

I was paranoid that our sheets would be pulled too far up and suffocate him. So I am very cautious about the way I tuck him in, and I never allow the sheets to get too close to him. Doing this, I then felt his shoulders were too exposed, so we always make sure he has a few layers on his arms, and I crocheted up a little shoulder cover for him [which we affectionately call his 'shroud']. And I check and check and check again, that the sheets aren't too close to his face. 

I created a padded side to the bed - spare pillow wedged between the mattress and my bedside table [and held in place by the bassinet, so it did come in handy after all]. So that he can't roll himself out of bed. He's not yet rolling anyway, so this system may need tweaking once he's more mobile. But I can assure you the only way he ever moves is closer to me.

And the benefits in all this? Well, for starters, my little one is safely tucked in next to me. The slightest snuffle from him and I'm onto it [and yet I can sleep through loud rain/dogs scratching the door/alarm clocks]. It strikes me that my husband takes on more of the 'protector' role, and will wake readily to any outside disturbance, which allows me the comfort of sleeping through those outside noises but being perfectly attuned to the needs of my baby.

Then there is breastfeeding. I don't get out of bed to feed my baby in the night. And I'm still feeding anywhere between 3-7 times, or thereabouts. I don't count how many feeds he has. If he gets hungry, he has a feed. I can almost do it in my sleep. Almost. I simply cannot comprehend getting up that many times a night to feed my baby. Or not feeding my baby if he's hungry. So my sleep disruption, even on a bad night, is minimal. Suits me.

And then there is waking up next to the little one... watching him slowly come out of his sleep and open his eyes, blink a few times, and smile at me. No crying, or having to call for me during the night. I'm always right there. Of course there is the issue of space, and a lack of alone time for my husband and I. But it's a sacrifice we're prepared to make. It's not forever. I look forward to a natural progression from co-sleeping when the time is right. Maybe at the 12 month mark? I really don't know. It works for us now, and when it has to shift, it will.  

You know, co-sleeping seems to be such an unusual practice in this country/region/place. The fact that we do it is reason number 27 why we know we're offbeat parents. Ok so there isn't really a list but seriously, there could be. We rarely talk about it with anyone, because we know it will get a strange reaction. Recently my husband came home from work and said he'd had a client with a 10 month old baby. And they co-sleep. I was surprised, and a bit heartened. We're not alone, even though it often feels like it.

Written for anyone who wants to hear the positive side of co-sleeping, not just the fear tactics that seem to circulate about the practice. Always use your common sense, do your own research and for goodness sake, no babies sleeping in the same room as a smoker.