We've been in our little house back in town for 5 months now. We came here with no fixed idea of how long to stay, other than 'long enough to sort ourselves out for where we really want to be'. A little vague, really.
I feel restless. I dream of being somewhere where we want to stay, plant our feet, put down roots and raise our child. Both my husband and I were moved around a lot as children, and we both want more of a stable family home for our son. And yet it seems that in searching for that, we might be doing exactly what we don't want to do - move around a lot.
Part of it stems from the desire to be 'home'. To nest. To paint all the walls white, to decorate just as we please, to plant trees and know that we'll be here in 10 years time to marvel at how they've grown. Not that we'll probably notice, as you don't notice so much when you see it every day. A simple home, warm and welcoming, with some nice land around it to plant the trees and grow our vegetables, and keep our chickens.
We live in a lovely home. Honestly, right here is wonderful for right now, mostly. And the things that aren't wonderful, well, I keep thoughts about that in check for the most part and focus on the good things, which far outweigh the drawbacks in any case. I just can't help this restless feeling within me. And I wonder, will we ever find the place where I say 'right, this is home' and where I'll not feel restless any more, or is the restlessness such a part of me that it will always nag at me, wherever I am?
We live in a part of the world that has hot, dry summers and mild, wet winters. I quite like the winters, but I'm having more difficulty with the summers than I used to. I start to dream of living close to the beach, where there are less extremes of temperature and more rain. I've never lived near the beach. Is it just a flight of fancy to want this? Or should I heed these feelings and look for the sea change?
We've just had a few days away near the beach. I know that has a lot to do with driving these feelings, about living near the beach in particular, but the restlessness was already there. I think a few days away from daily life can sometimes bring more clarity. Returning home, I can feel the complacency setting in, and sighing as I just get on with being happy here. But I can't help but dream of somewhere different.
Do you ever feel restless?
Hi Jacqui, I am opposite you, I have always lived near the beach and can't really imagine living inland. I love being near the beach, I'd never want to live anywhere else. I tend to feel a little claustrophobic when I am inland for any length of time, there is nothing like the ocean to give you a sense of space. Have a lovely week. Julie x
ReplyDeleteHi Julie, that's so true what you say about a sense of space from the ocean. We're looking at so many options but I feel like being closer to the beach gives a sense of breathing easier.
DeleteI know some will think you are just taken with the "holiday mode" of being near the coast, but if you want to be fairly self sufficient in fruit and vegies etc you need to consider the climate and the rainfall, so I think your beach move idea is quite valid, sometimes the hinterland of the coast is a great growing climate and the land is cheaper than right at the beach, yet still close enough for the beach lifestyle of less stress and heat and drought conditions.
ReplyDeleteIf you are serious about moving, start growing your fruit trees in large plastic pots, so they are advanced when it is time to plant on your own land.
I too feel such a sense of calm and peace when I am near the beach, I live 2 hours drive away, so not too bad, if I could get enough for my house to buy near the beach , I would go tomorrow.
We'd love to be about 20 minutes away from the beach… close enough to go regularly, but a bit inland for exactly those reasons - good growing climate and cheaper (hopefully cheaper!).
DeletePlanting fruit trees in pots now is a brilliant idea, thanks.
I'm not a huge beach person, but I can walk to the water in about 15 minutes from where I live, and I like it that way. Whenever we go on holiday, I dream of buying a holiday house, then the reality of how much it would cost, the upkeep, and how we'd get there when oil is scarce hits. Much cheaper to just have a holiday every once in a while! If I wasn't in my permanent house now, then I'd have itchy feet, something to do with establishing gardens I think, because they take a while to establish. And they take a bit of work to get going. I think it's also easier to move with just one small child- we moved twice while Evie was little (to Brisbane and back, and I was pregnant when we moved back). If you're not where you want to be, then I guess you need to figure out where you want to be, and a timeline as to when you'll be there. Good luck with figuring it all out!
ReplyDeleteEstablishing the gardens is a big part of it for me - knowing that we're not planning on staying here for the long term makes it harder to do too much work in the garden, but I can't help but want to do it anyway. And yes, we're hoping for another baby in a couple of years so it would be good to be moved before that happens. It was tricky enough with one (although probably not as tricky as moving from Brisbane!).
DeleteI believe humans are naturally nomadic (most tribal lifestyles are) and that urge to move on with the seasons stays with us to some extent. I feel the pull towards starting again in a new place about once every five years, my usual response is to start a new project; one that takes up my spare head space and results in a total change of lifestyle (you don't have to move geographically to start a new life). I have; lost 43kg (unfortunately not permanently), studied for a degree, learned fibre crafts and joined the CWA in my restless phases so far. Good luck with yours.
ReplyDeleteVery true, a new direction can be just as good as a physical change of location. Usually I go dig in the garden when I feel restless, which is very grounding, but so many times I've put time into gardens and then moved on, I start to feel frustrated with it. It's good to be aware of these phases anyway.
DeleteI know your restlessness well. After moving 14 times in 21 years I am now trying very hard to settle. We moved as I always wanted a 'better' house and with a fast paced real estate market we made money to improve. Now in my early 40s I've got a large old home 400m from a beautiful beach with some space for a large vege garden (bonus is that we have a bore and can water to our hearts content) and a few fruit trees and chickens. I still crave the thought of a larger block of land but I just cannot give up the beauty and restorative qualities of the beach. I don't swim but I love to walk and listen to the waves. I only wish I had realised what I really wanted 10 years ago as then my mortgage wouldn't be huge! Good luck finding the home that brings you peace and happiness.
ReplyDeleteOh that sounds amazing and lovely! To live 400m from the beach sounds like a dream. Some good advice there, thank you. I have also moved so many times in the past 10 years, I hope we can find somewhere where we'll be happy to settle. It's hard, isn't it?
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