Drifting Along

We've been living in this regional town for eight months now. Eek, even writing that is a surprise, I thought it was more like six months. We came here because we needed to make a change, life in our little house on a dusty country road was just not right for us. And it was a good change. It has allowed us to live more simply, to drive the car less, to look after a smaller piece of land and enjoy the benefits of town living. I am most grateful for this, being at home with a young child. But we definitely miss our space and quiet, and we wonder how to find our way back to more rural living once again.

We didn't have much of a plan as to how long to stay here, in this town. And we find ourselves constantly back and forth now in indecision. Do we stay here longer term? Do we stay here short term then go somewhere else, somewhere that might suit us better? And if we're going to do that, then maybe we should just go somewhere else, right now? And the reality of life provides our checks and balances; the places we consider for the future are beyond our budget at this point in time. And we circle around in our thoughts again. Perhaps here is where we're meant to be. It is good, right now, just here.

And we lament about property prices in Australia, and how the family home is now a commodity, an investment, a means to an end rather than an end in itself. And we question a world where two incomes are required in most areas if a home is to be affordable - but at what cost? I am adamant that I want to be at home with my child, rather than put him in day care. My husband is fully supportive in this regard. This is a very touchy subject and I in no way want to open the working mum vs stay at home mum can of worms. Each to their own. But I do think there is something wrong when there is no choice, when two incomes are needed, where one is not enough.  

And then we think, well, here in this town, one income is enough. And we are happy here, and we have a lifestyle we enjoy. It doesn't have the one thing I would love most, and that is a Steiner school for our son to attend in a few years. And if we were to move close enough to a Steiner school, well, we'd be needing the two incomes again, and that would defeat the purpose of our chosen way to bring up this boy. So home schooling is most definitely on the agenda. We would need a network though, a community of other home schoolers. A way for our son to interact, make friends of his own, build his own community. 

I do miss the working world sometimes. I miss having a professional role in life. But the value I place on being present, not just physically but in mind and in spirit, far, far outweighs this. And all the while, we dig in the garden, and work on and in the house, and make connections in the community here. And I know I need to switch off the mental functions thinking too much about the future, and just enjoy where we are right now. Perhaps this is the place for us after all.

I do think capitalism is a most flawed system though. The fundamental flaw being the assumption that people are logical and rational. I did an economics degree back in the late 1990's/early 2000's. I was too young to question much of what I was taught back then, I just accepted it. But now I question it. I question a lot of things we are led to believe are for our best interests, when clearly they are not. Thoughts for another post, another time. For now, we are happily drifting along in our indecision. Who knows where it will take us. Maybe all the way back to here, after all.