Midweek Musings: The Gifts You Feel You Should Keep

A truly perfect gift - little jonquils from the garden, stems removed, given so beautifully by my little boy. 

Oh, we've been de-cluttering again. More on that another time, but needless to say, moving into a smaller house has forced us to get rid of even more stuff. And we thought we had already got rid of the excess. I guess now we're going through it all with a fine tooth comb and the reality (the very beautiful reality) of limited storage space for 'stuff'.

So I come to my topic. Gifts you feel you should keep. You know the ones, wedding gifts, birthday gifts, Christmas gifts. The things that are not quite right, are just not you, the ones you never even liked at all, ever. There is something about the gift that leaves us feeling that we should keep it, regardless of whether or not we like it, use it, want it, need it.

I think part of it is not wanting to hurt the feelings of the person who gave us the gift in the first place. And that is totally valid, no-one wants to go around hurting other people's feelings (not in these parts anyway). But is that enough of a reason to hang on to something that you otherwise would not keep? 

This is the murky waters of serious de-cluttering. In the current box of items to be donated to the op shop sits a waterford crystal bowl, a wedding gift from a grandmother. I don't think we have ever used it. Maybe once when we needed an extra salad bowl? The thing is, it's too good to use. The other thing is, we don't like it. Not the shape, not the style, not the size. It's just not right for us. My husband almost got rid of it once before, but decided against it after I pointed out how much those things cost. He googled it to confirm, and the bowl stayed. 

And now it is destined for the op shop. We have to be ruthless in this business, you know. I guess we could sell it, but I think we just don't want the hassle. Photographing it, setting up an ad online, getting weird text messages about it, having it sit around awkwardly in the house throughout the whole process. Blah. Straight to the op shop for this bowl. Someone somewhere will no doubt find it, love it and have the bargain of the year. But to us, it's value is pretty much nil.

And the pink t-shirt. The one my mum gave me for Christmas a few years ago. The one that was always a bit too small (maybe I'll fit into it one day?), a bit too bright ('but you love pink'), that might be ok to wear running (on the two occasions per year that I actually run, and it's still too small..). Finally, finally I have given up hanging on to it and sent it off to the op shop as well. And the reason I've held on to it for so long? Well, I didn't want to hurt my mother's feelings. To reject a gift from someone, is in a sense, rejecting the person. Only it isn't. It's just a thing, after all.

At our son's first birthday, there was quite a mountain of gifts from extended family. Some small and thoughtful, some large and extravagant and entirely not appropriate. Some were directly against our requests. I can tell you that a bunch of them ended up at the op shop, unopened from their packaging, the very next day. That was quite easy, in comparison. 

I think we could be considered harsh sometimes, but really, we appreciate the thought and effort behind gifts. We do, but we are just not into material stuff. And so finally, we are starting to get past the emotional holds that these things have over us, and just let them go.

How about you? Do you find it hard when you receive a gift that isn't quite right for you? Do you feel the need to keep it anyway?