Sit and Meditate

Morning sun hitting the Zebra Jasper.

I wanted to share with you some of my thoughts on meditation and some practical ideas for helping with it, if it's something you're interested in bringing into your life (and if you already meditate). I get frustrated when I read some meditation blogs and web pages and see how complicated people can make the process. It really is very simple. Perhaps that is where the complexity lies, that we just can't deal with that level of simple.

A full breath cycle, watched with full awareness, is meditation. It is that simple. The hard part is sitting still in that space, holding that space, concentrating on the breath cycle, over and over and over again. We want to move. Our mind screams at us and flatly refuses to concentrate on the breath. It wants to think about what's for dinner, or that movie we saw last night, or about the washing that needs to be brought in, the floors that need to be vacuumed and the bills that need to be paid. And the body, well the body doesn't want to sit still any more than the mind does. It wants to fidget, it wants to get up and move, it demands that you move and plays all sorts of tricks on you to get you to move. You suddenly get an itch, that you simply must scratch. Your nose decides to drip, goodness knows you can't let that happen. Your legs scream at you that they will go numb, and then they actually do start to go numb - you can't possibly sit through that.

Actually, you can.

I suspect a lot of would-be meditators give up out of frustration that they're not doing it 'right' when all these sorts of things happen. That it's not turning out how the book/webpage/teacher said, that this supposed blissful meditative state is anything but blissful and that there is something wrong with what they're doing, or they just can't do it. Which is very sad, because in reality, these things happen to everyone. The trick is simply to just be aware of it, and come back to the meditation, every single time.

Every time the mind wanders to think about the washing, there is a moment when your awareness tells you - oh, my mind has wandered, I'm not focused on my meditation at the moment, I'm thinking about the washing. This point, where you become aware of the wandering mind, this is the point where you strengthen your meditation, by going back to the meditation (whatever the focus of the meditation may be). And that is a wonderful thing! That is a new moment of awareness, of choosing to notice the mind wandering, and simply bring it back to the meditation. And this can happen over, and over, and over, and over and over. And that is a meditation. And that is perfect. You can think of the meditation like sitting at a train station, watching trains (thoughts) come and go, and letting them come and go, without worrying about them or getting attached to them. Just keep coming back to the meditation.

And the body, when it tells you that it simply cannot sit still, when every cell of your body wants to move, even just a little bit, that is another beautiful place to build awareness and stillness. Because every time it comes up, where you feel you must move, have to move, but choose instead to sit still anyway, that is strengthening the stillness of meditation. Stillness begins in the body, not the mind, so allowing the stillness to strengthen is an important aspect of meditation. If you simply notice the itch without scratching, what happens? Eventually it disappears. If you nose drips, what happens? Our hygienic programming tells us all sorts of things, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. And if our legs go numb, get pins and needles, what happens? Well, they get pins and needles. You might have to sit for a few minutes more when you come back out of the meditation, give them time to recover, but nothing else happens.

This is not a post about actually doing a meditation, this is simply my thoughts and experience about the process of meditation. There's this idea that you have to have a 'quiet mind' and that if you don't, you're not doing it right. And that's such an unrealistic expectation to hold. Some days, the mind will wander and chatter and jump all over the place, and that's ok. And some days the body will want to fidget, will find strange aches and pains, will refuse to sit still, and that's ok too. And on some other days, the mind is less active, calmer, quieter, and that's ok. And some days the body loves it, wants to sink into the meditation, finds so much peace in sitting still, and that's ok too. My own experience is that the days of calmer mind and peaceful body are more frequent the longer you do the practice (I'm talking a long time, a lot of years). But even then, there are times when the mind races and the body fidgets. It's called being human, and the only thing that makes a meditator is the ability to sit with that, accept it and not attach to any of it. Sometimes, the greatest insights come from the busy mind/fidgety body days.

There is only one thing that makes a meditation a good one for me - and that is simply doing it. Whatever happens in that meditation is not the point. Sitting, showing up, doing the meditation, that is the point.

In Breaths and Out Breaths

The things we collect on our walks.

In breath, and out breath. In breath, and out breath. Repeat, over and over and over again. This is how we live our life, right? In breath, out breath. In breath, out breath. Something we perhaps take for granted most of the time.

Some of my earliest meditation training was in watching the breath, but not in the usual cliche way of just 'watch your breath'. It was more like being in full awareness of every moment, every part of the breath cycle, and took concentration to stay with. A very deep practice, simple but deep and one I still do, because it's wonderful.

On the inhale, notice the beginning, the middle and the end (the point where you have finished inhaling). Notice a pause, where air is transferred in the lungs, some in and some out. Notice the beginning, the middle and the end of the pause. Notice the exhale, the beginning, the middle and the end. And notice the space at the end of the breath, once the exhale has ended but before the next inhale begins. So spacious.

I love that space. That space, in between the breaths, that is the space where the quiet mind can be found. The commonly held idea is that meditation is trying to quiet the mind, yet to me, that's going the wrong way about it. The mind is what it is, it wants to think and to chatter and to always be going. The body is the place of stillness, the breath; using the mind to focus on the stillness of the body, the mind is so full of concentration that there is no space for thoughts. That place between the ending of the out breath and the beginning of the in breath, that is the place where, if you are concentrating on the rest of the breath cycle, you will find the stillness of mind. It is fleeting, it is momentary, the mind wants to attach to it and think about it. And then the next in breath comes along. The more you connect to that space in between, the easier it is to find it again, and again, and again.

And then I look at our days, the in breaths and out breaths and spaces in our days. The times when we're doing, moving, and the times when we let go and rest. There must be a balance, between the moments in our days of doing things, and the moments when we pause. The in breath of action, the out breath of letting go. The pause between the two, and the space at the end. I know that in my days, I can work towards a greater balance; less of the in breath and doing, more of the out breath and letting go. Bringing rhythm, harmony, the beat of life to our days.

Because in the end, one day there will be no more breaths, so we might as well notice and appreciate them while we're here. It just is how it is.

A Walking Meditation

a moment of mindful

I was flipping through the latest issue of Slow magazine recently and somewhere in there I saw a reference to a walking meditation. It really caught my eye, it's something I haven't done for many years now.

I learned how to do it when I put myself onto a 3-day Tibetan Buddhist meditation retreat, a long time ago now (which was an eye opener for me, as I didn't really know how to meditate before that and it was a fairly intense way to start). Anyway many of the meditation practices I learned then I kept going with, but the walking meditation I did not. I tried it a few times at home after that but I found it too awkward, trying to be in a meditative state, walking super slowly in the back yard and knowing my housemates thought I was kinda weird. So it just slid and I didn't even think of it for years. Until that  reminder in the magazine.

The way my body jumped at the thought, I knew it was time to go back to that practice, even just for a few minutes here and there. Such a soothing, gentle way to slow down, ease a racing mind, settle frazzled energies and become centred and grounded. I got up in my living room, and began walking slowly, very very slowly. Mindfully with each step, noticing my heel landing on the floor, the movement of my body as the weight was transferred, moving up onto the ball of my foot, rolling onto the toes, watching the other leg lifting from the ground, just bumping the floor as it came through, then the heel striking the floor... and on it goes. Such a simple yet profound practice.

As soon as I started, after a few settling steps and getting slower and slower with each one, I noticed the reiki energy pumping through my hands, the way it does when I get a yoga pose in the sweet spot. What that means is, it instantly got my energy flowing clearly. The chi moving well in my body. And it took about 30 seconds. After only a couple of minutes, I felt transformed from how I had been feeling before. Not that I was feeling bad, it was just a relaxed night at home, pottering around the house, making a cup of tea. But that simple few minutes, it brought me right out of my head and into my body, to a space of just being, rather than thinking this, working out that, doing doing doing.

I am so glad to be reconnected with this simple mindful practice. I noticed that even after I stopped the practice, I was suddenly more connected to my body, my movements; my awareness had shifted so quickly. I already do a daily meditation practice but there is always a case for adding more mindfulness to my day. It's not necessarily one I would schedule in on a daily basis, but having this one to fall back on when I need to stop, slow down, breathe (which is often!) is just wonderful. It's probably more of a practice I can do numerous times throughout my day, rather than setting aside a specific time for it, the way life is now.

A mindfulness practice doesn't have to involve walking (although this is such a great place to start with as you get a really good idea what it is about) - it can be anything you are doing in any moment. It can be washing the dishes, slowly, purposefully, examining each dish carefully, rinsing it slowly, placing it down mindfully. It can be when you're tapping at a keyboard, watching your fingers work their way over the keyboard, slower perhaps than you would normally do, being aware of your posture, your eyes, your neck, your back, your feet, letting go of any tense spots.

Every little moment of slowing down, of being mindful, is a step towards creating a more mindful, deliberate life. A moment of being truly present in your life. Those moments are so precious and often so few and far between for many of us. Threading them together, bringing the moments of mindfulness closer, stringing them together throughout the day. Day after day. A simple walking meditation is a very powerful tool to help bring through those moments of mindfulness, long after the practice itself is finished.

Have you ever tried a walking meditation? How do you stay mindful and present in your days?

(oh and barefoot is the way to go for a walking meditation...)

Positive Vibes

I decided to delete my last blog post. Thanks so much to all those who left comments, I appreciate the support I received in this space. To be honest, the whole thing left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth, so now, it is gone.

The thing is, see, for someone to come at me with such negativity, such criticism, only tells me that on some level, that is in me. You know how everything is energy? Everything is energy. So, whatever we're seeing in the world, whatever is coming to us, is simply a reflection of how we are on the inside. You know, since like attracts like and all that. So somewhere within me, I was carrying around perhaps a bunch of negativity, and it came right back at me.

At the end of the day, I'm just looking at the bigger picture of it all now. I don't want to carry negativity within me, and I'm working a hefty load on the energetics of making sure that I'm not. There's lots of ways to protect yourself from negativity, but the best way, in my opinion, is simply to be on such a different energetic wavelength that it's just not something that can reach you.

So how the heck do you do that? Well, you meditate. You look deeply at situations that arise that are negative in your life, and you meditate. You sit with it, and don't try to change it one little bit. And all the feelings that come up in your body, you just let them be, without trying to change them. This is how you clear it from your system. Then, you meditate further, or do other energetic work if you know how. Me, I use reiki mostly, reiki and meditation. What you want to do, is raise your own energetic vibration, above the reach of negative energy. Mantras are good, prayer is good, asking for help from the Universe is good. Being flooded with positive universal energy, to clear out the system and raise your vibration.

Are you still with me?

In all honesty, I have been questioning for myself whether to continue writing in this blog space, but for different reasons. I am feeling a real pull to be writing more about the spiritual path, the energetics of life, about healing. That sort of thing. And I absolutely believe that the true spiritual path is lived in the day to day moments, more so than in meditation. I mean, in meditation it's easy to reach a higher space, be in touch with your higher self. And granted, the more you do that, the better access you have to it in day to day life. But the tests come when you are in the thick of your life - when you've had a shitty morning, when your patience is being tried, when you're tired and grumpy. And when you have a choice to accept lower energies, or change the situation for yourself, and raise your vibration.

That was a long winded way of saying I'm not sure whether to keep writing here about more spiritual stuff or create a new space for that. I'm still sitting with that one. Mercury is still reversing. Perhaps I'll have a clearer direction forward soon. For now, I'm off to sink into my practice.