Vegan Cashew Pancakes

There is a bit of pre-preparation required for these. You need to soak cashews in water, and whizz them up in a blender to make cashew milk; you need a nut milk bag to separate the milk from the cashew pulp and you need the willpower to be bothered to make the effort. Or, you can always omit the cashews altogether and just use soy milk instead, which I do sometimes!

Step 1 - Cashew Milk

Soak 1/2 cup of raw cashews in water for at least a few hours (cashews soften up pretty quickly), then drain the water off and place cashews in a blender. Add 1 cup (250ml) of fresh water and blend to a paste, then add another 2-3 cups (500-750ml water) depending on how thick you want it to be and blend again. Use your nut milk bag and strain the cashew milk into a large jug or bowl, squeezing out as much liquid as you can. Keep the pulp in the milk bag as it goes into the pancakes.

Step 2 - Pancakes

// Ingredients
1 cup plain flour
Pulp from cashew milk prepared earlier
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup cashew milk prepared earlier
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon maple syrup
Coconut oil for the pan

// How to Make
Combine flour, cashew pulp, baking powder and salt in a bowl and mix. You need to squish the cashew pulp around to mix it in.
Add cashew milk, vanilla extract and maple syrup and mix to combine, making sure to get any lumps out.
Heat a pan over medium heat with a little coconut oil, then add pancake batter to the pan in batches - however big you like your pancakes to be. Cook for 2-3 minutes or until bubbles appear on the surface then flip and cook for 1-2 minutes on the other side. Repeat with remaining batter until all pancakes are made.
Serve with fresh fruit, maple syrup or whipped coconut cream.

Enjoy!

Here and there and everywhere

I took us to the beach for a day trip, on what I thought might be the last really hot day of the season.  It was really hot, but it wasn't the last one. The water at this time of year though it incredible, after heating up for the past few months, it's at it's warmest right now. Best time for a dip. It doesn't look so hot from the image, but that cloud burned off and it was hot. Real hot.

I'm making a big effort this week to slow down, do less, be more. Not that I don't always anyway, but the past few weeks and last week in particular have just seen me running, literally running, to get here and there. If you saw a lady running through Southern Cross station last week it was probably me. Ok it probably wasn't as I probably wasn't the only one. But you get my drift. Too much has been going on and the only one who can change that is - me!

Having said all that, sometimes life just picks you up and moves you along, or moves you up, or things just start to happen. So there's always a positive and my whirlwind of activity has been positive shifts, so no complaints. I just need a breather.

I'm ready now to fully welcome the autumn weather but Mother Nature seems to have other ideas, it's been hotter here this past week than it was for the bulk of summertime. The zucchini's are enjoying the last blast of heat and I'm glad I didn't pull them out already. It's a job for us very soon, clearing out the vegie garden, adding some horse manure and compost (compost - my compost is the best I've ever had, it's a hot little bin I've got going and it's breaking down in record time!) and getting some cooler season vegies growing. I'm contemplating some espaliered apple trees along the back fence, there's so little space for growing fruit and vegies (comparatively speaking) here in this garden. Then I come back to my question of how long to stay, and - oooh I don't really want to go round in that circle right now. My restlessness to move on has eased for now and I'm just enjoying being here. It's a good (head)space to be in.

And whilst I've not been writing here so much, I've been doing some writing for other blogs and I'd love for you to take a read. The very lovely Judit from The Hands On Project asked me to write a series of posts on the winter season (one of my favourite times of the year) and my first post in the series is now up on her blog here. And the also very lovely Cat from Chronicles of Cat interviewed me about crystal healing, and specifically about using crystals to heal a broken heart which you can read here. I love how she has pulled it all together. And I enjoyed so much the writing for both of those.

Ooh and the biggest find from the last few weeks of my life - baked almond pulp brownies. I started making my own almond milk (here) and with that comes an abundance of almond pulp. Which is fantastic added to our morning millet porridge, and to our banana and date loaf, and to muffins. But I have to say, nothing beats brownies as a way to use up the almond pulp. I've been making a vegan version of the recipe linked above (I've been officially vegan since 1 January) which is just divine.

So that's me, until next time...

4 Tips to Give Furniture a Rustic Look (or, that time I painted a table)

It's been since forever that I last did a guest post in this space, but a little while ago I was contacted by Chris Stanbridge who writes for Cristophe Living about doing this post on giving furniture a rustic look. And at first, I didn't think that would be such a great fit for my blog, but then the little voice in the back of my head whispered 'wait... you have a table that needs painting...' and I figured that this might be just the kick up the backside I needed to make it happen. And it was, and it did. Here's Chris' article to help you if you want to try it!

*  *  *  *  *

4 Tips to Give Furniture a Rustic Look 
Vintage furniture is back, so it is time to visit your grand parents' attic to find a few hidden gems. Many of you might have pieces of furniture that need a little touch in order to look perfect. Here are four tips that can help you in the process.

1. Distressing
You would initially have to start with distressing your furniture. This means you would have to scrape off any old paint that is currently on the piece. You can either use an electric sander or sandpaper to wipe off the paint. You might be required to use a chemical cleaner if the paint is applied quite thickly. Once you are done with the cleaning part, dry the furniture using a rag to remove any dirt that is left.

My table didn't need much extra distressing.

2. Painting
The next step is to paint the furniture in a manner such that an anti dilutive look is achieved. Do remember that rustic furniture does not have heavy coats of paint and therefore you must dilute the paint. You can choose any kind of paint such as oil based paints or water based paints. Apply the paint by using a rag or brush although a rag results in better effects. Once the first layer is applied allow it to dry off and then apply the second layer. You can add more layers if you want to but do remember that rustic furniture is all about less paint and have a more worn out look. In case you have applied more paint than you want, you can use a sandpaper to wipe off the excess paint. You can also apply opaque colour paint directly and then wipe it off the cloth immediately after applying. This way any excess paint would be removed immediately and you would need to spend less effort and time.

3. Drying
Although this might seem quite obvious, this is nevertheless an important step. If you do not allow the paint to dry off and move to the next step, all your effort would not be realised as the furniture would fail to achieve the desired look. You need to make sure that the furniture item is allowed to dry off in a ventilated area, away from people or pets who might ruin the paint job. 

4. Sealing
Once the paint has dried off, you would now need to seal it with satin polyurethane that would act as a sealant and protect the furniture. However, do not apply the sealer with a rag but rather with a brush to ensure smooth application.

A rustic white table - do you think?

The simple process of whitewashing can allow you to bring a rustic charm to the interior of your room. The process is quite simple and does not require a person to master any specific technique and therefore is a must do it yourself project.

Chris is an experienced interior designer and craftsman. Chris regularly writes for Christophe Living. Over the last 4 years, Chris has written numerous articles and is an active forum contributor.

*  *  *  *  *

I'm not sure that my painted table achieved quite the 'vintage' look, and to be honest it was probably more rustic before I painted it (it is made from recycled timber, electricity poles I think). But, for the purpose that I wanted it is great. Having it white brightens up the dull light in the lounge room, and it has given me the white background I have been wanting just for taking photos on (without building a separate photo board). So I'm happy. I'm now looking at those bedside tables desperately in need of some updating... I would also add that I am totally not a DIY person (I'm like a fish out of water in the inside part of any hardware store, I'm more at home in the plants section). But it was very satisfying to do this little job and if I can do it, anyone can do it.

Simple Things: Homemade Almond Milk

I stopped drinking cow's milk some time ago now, long before any thoughts of a vegan diet were seriously floating around in my head. My body just started telling me, very clearly, that cow milk was not good for me. Noticeable tummy pains after I drank anything with it, and a growing icky feeling at the thought of using it. And it wasn't even the first time that had happened, I had gone off it previously but ended up drinking it again, for convenience I suppose.

So I have tried plenty of alternatives to the standard cow milk that are available. I'm not so keen on soy milk, rice milk seems to me to be water with a hint of white and almond milk was definitely the best option for me but again, watery and loaded with additives. And then when I got my hands on the My Darling Lemon Thyme cookbook, I read the recipe for almond milk and just knew I had to try making my own. But that was quite a few months ago now, and I have to admit that complacency had set in and I was stuck on supermarket almond milk. This despite having a nut milk bag and nuts in the cupboard. And a blender.

Anyway as happens with these things, necessity is what forced the change. After a big day out, a late afternoon at home, scrambling to get dinner sorted, a tired and cranky toddler, a tired and cranky me, no almond milk in the house and knowing that I would be needing the milk in the morning, that's what finally drove me to do it. And goodness me, it was so ridiculously easy I don't know what I was procrastinating about all that time. That's often how it goes, right?

It was incredibly easy - just soaking a cup of almonds in water overnight, draining it off in the morning and blending it up with another 3 cups of fresh water in the blender, then squeezing it through the nut milk bag and into a jug. Pretty easy. But the part that I love the most is how amazingly good the milk was (is). So creamy! So fulfilling! So satisfying! It made our rice porridge so incredibly smooth and creamy, and my chai tea was all kinds of good, and my sometimes evening treat of a small cacao drink is now the creamy smooth drink I was dreaming of - just no comparison any commercial nut milk. And even the added bonus of all the almond pulp for adding to our porridge and in our baking.

Of all the changes I have made over the years to increase my self reliance and reduce my reliance on supermarket chains, this is a big one for me. I've always found the homemade products to be superior to the commercial product, but the extent of the difference between homemade almond milk to commercial almond milk is just - huge. I don't know how else to say it.

I've been looking and looking for a milk this good for so long, and all that time, I just needed to devote about 10 minutes to the process and I could have done it myself. And now I know. I can't tell you how much I enjoy drinking it, it feels so decadent and now it's become my new normal. And on the cost side of things, I did crunch the numbers a little while back as I thought it would be hugely expensive using all those almonds, but I worked out that over a week, it would cost me about the same to make my own as to buy a commercial product. Plus, the bonus of spending less on buying almond meal for baking is a big factor for me, as I bake gluten free and almond meal features in pretty much everything I make.

Do I sound like I'm raving on about how good it is? I am! It is that good!

Have you ever tried making any nut milks or any other kind of milks at home? What was your experience with it? I'd love to hear.

Favourite Thing

My kiddo is very much into trains. I've been promising to take him on a train for months now; since we moved to this little city, we've driven past the train station almost every time we go in the car, just to see if there's any trains. We've pedalled past, and doubled back to wait for trains to come when we hear the signals go. We've watched on foot as trains have rumbled past the train playground. And then we finally went on a train.

It's the most wonderful thing, watching your child step out of their comfort zone and grow, become more worldly, bigger, braver. We arrived at the station and got a special ticket - special because the trains were running free and we didn't need it, but the lovely fellow in the office realised the nature of our trip and knew how special a ticket can be, for an almost three year old. A thing to have, in his hands, that he can take home and remember his train trip by. We waited on the platform with anticipation, and as the train rumbled in, people started to flock forward to get on, my beautiful kiddo hit his wall. It's one thing to watch the trains go by from a distance, another entirely get on the train. So I bundled him up, kicking and screaming, and on we got.

The tantrum lasted about 30 seconds (thankfully) and we found a seat by the window. He was cuddled up to me like a koala as we started to move off, but within 5 minutes I had been kicked off the seat and took my place next to him. And he had grown up, a little bit more, in that short space of time.

We didn't go far. Twenty minutes later we hopped off at a little town, waved goodbye to the train as it continued on its journey, and wandered into town to find a playground and some lunch. Had I been more organised I would have packed a picnic lunch for us, but I was not, and a cafe lunch has become a bit of a rare treat for us now.  So we found a sweet little place, just perfect really, and enjoyed a simple and lovely lunch together. He charmed everyone at the cafe and then we wandered our way back to the station, to wait for the homeward bound train.

And of course this time on the train, he was a seasoned traveller, taking it all in his stride, confident and comfortable, over-confident and boisterous.

Days like this remind me just how fleeting it all is, being a parent. Watching a little person grow in front of your eyes, it's so easy to miss the changes, the growing up, all the little things. When we chatted at dinner about our favourite part of the day, we both said going on the train was our favourite thing. In truth every part of the day was my favourite thing. I'll be dragging him back to do it again soon, I think.

Talking About Food

Food is a pretty huge thing, really, isn't it? When I think about how much goes into growing food in the garden, how much I can actually produce for us, how much I can rely on that as opposed to buying food... I'm a long way from where I'd like to be, that much I know. I get a good summer season of tomatoes, but I'm not even close to growing enough (and processing enough) to see us through the winter. Same goes with potatoes, although I'm closer with potatoes than with tomatoes. I think last year we were eating homegrown well into late Autumn. And as much as I would like it to be otherwise, my winter vegie gardening has been inconsistent at best. I would like to change that.

But the fact for me is, the vast majority of the food we eat in this house still comes from a supermarket, or from a store somewhere. I am tending now to shop more in smaller, independent stores rather than the big supermarkets whenever I can, mostly for dried pulses, fruits and vegetables and some household items where I can get them. But I still find myself back at the big supermarkets often enough. I suppose the driving factors for me are the freshness of the food, and whether or not it is organic. And how much it costs, that factor is still pretty important, especially when comparing the organic to the non-organic.

I flat out refuse to buy fruits and vegetables that are imported (ok, with the odd exception being garlic from Mexico when I'm desperate for garlic). It's not that I don't think the produce is good enough; of course it is, for what it is. It's just that I want to buy food that has had less time in storage, that has travelled less distance, that is fresher and healthier. I want to eat food that is in season, in our seasons. The early appearance of grapes and watermelons from the US is a big one - explaining to my kiddo why we can't buy it yet when we pass them at the supermarket. And I want my food to be free of pesticides, or genetic modifications. I want to eat food that was grown naturally in healthy soils, as close to home as possible. Obviously some things have to come from far away - coconuts and bananas don't grow so well around here. So I suppose the choice then is, to eat those things or not to eat those things. I'm still eating those things.

The reality is that everything is energy, you know? And the best energy, the highest vibrating energy with the most life force, comes from fresh, organic produce. And what we eat, what we take into our body, has a huge impact on our own energy! Our own vibration, our own life force. So when we consume foods that are on the lower end of the scale (manufactured anything), we are lowering our own energy, we are reducing our own life force energy (Chi, or Qi). Think about pesticides, they are designed to destroy life. That's a pretty low energy to be taking into our bodies. And that has a pretty big impact on our life. It impacts on how well we function, how positive or negative we are, our physical health, our ability to make positive change in our lives, our ability to operate at our highest potential, our energy levels, our overall wellbeing.

It is costly to shift to organic produce, I'm walking that tricky line between balancing the food budget and giving us the best food, and I would love to say we eat all organic but it's just not true. Still, making small changes here and there, they all add up. I do believe the small changes are the important ones, day in and day out. Little things, like organic tea (or coffee). Cutting out processed drinks. My last stand, my last guilty pleasure, is the hot chocolate that I like to have. Since I stopped drinking coffee it's become a little more prominent, but still I notice every single time that I get a little stomach pain when I drink it. My body speaks to me, tells me what it needs and what it doesn't, and the more I cut out the things that are no good, the louder I can hear it. Sensitivity increases, when you take away the things that dull it.

It's something I'm focusing on more this year, even more than usual. Starting with buying a local organic vegie box from a local farm, and I'll just see how we go with it. Little changes, big changes, all positive changes; always has a positive effect on your life.

Simple Things: A Slow Weekend

We had the slowest of slow weekends. We stayed home, and only left the house to walk the dog and play on a swing. We didn't drive anywhere, we didn't buy anything, we used what we had at home and it was so, so good. We had millet porridge for breakfast, ate our banana and date loaf that we baked for morning and afternoon teas, had dinners of homemade soup and risotto with homemade stock. We harvested the first of the potatoes and a bunch of skinny capsicums. The kiddo did much play outside, and much play inside, and I did a heap of crochet work on the blanket I'm making for him. So much that I feel like I'm back in the swing of needing to keep my hands making little squares all the time. I sat outside with my crochet and a cup of rosehip tea, on the chairs I look at so longingly, yet so rarely actually sit in.

It was the best weekend. I needed it, my kiddo needed it, my bank account thanked me for it and my car has had three days of not being touched.

It really is when you stop running around, doing stuff that needs doing, that you realise how little actually needs to be done, and how truly wonderful it is to just be.

Shop Talk: juggling a toddler and crystals

I absolutely love having my online crystal shop. I love it so so much, all parts of it. It has grown over the past year from a handful of crystals to more stock than I could cope with, and now back to a slightly more manageable level. The difficulty for me is in finding a space to keep them all in. The need to up high, out of reach of small hands, but easy enough for me to reach them quickly for photographing and packaging up for posting. Plus all the posting stuff that goes along with it, padded envelopes and wrapping materials. It's become quite the little operation for me and (thankfully) I've gotten quicker at doing it all, out of necessity and familiarity.

I still don't have it all worked out, but I start to know what doesn't work, so that points me in the direction of what does. I have shuffled the shop crystals through three different rooms in the house, and then out to the separate room out the back, in the short space of time I've been in this house. Shuffle shuffle shuffle. I'm still not there with it, as in keeping them all in a separate room (granted not far away but still, separate enough) I find I'm torn between the house and the crystal shop. With it being something that I manage pretty much daily, I've come to realise that I need them back in the house. In their own space, with a door that closes, in the house. But I'm so tired of shuffling that I'm just operating between two spaces, and the kitchen table is now currently home to about half of my stock.

All sorts of growing pains really, but I welcome it all. My shop is ticking along at a rate that is perfect for me just now, and we're starting to fall into a rhythm of daily work in the shop (rather than the erratic, late night, hurried way of operating at different times over the past year). Our morning work, starting between 8:30 and 9am, breaking for morning tea around 10am and sometimes following on with more, sometimes leaving it at just that. Keeping a toddler entertained is definitely easier in the house. The options are still not my favourite - deal with the constant whirlwind of toddler activity while concentrating on packing orders or buy myself some time while he watches something on the computer (trains, mostly). I suppose like everything we work it out as we go. And usually an afternoon pedal on the bike up to the post office. I do love the way the rhythm is falling into place.

And over in the shop, there are plenty of beautiful crystals to be had with more arriving this week. It certainly is work, but it never feels like work. I suppose that's why the saying is that when you do something you love, you never work a day in your life.

I just wanted to mention how grateful I am for the support in my shop from a few readers here too, it means the world to me and it was definitely that support that got my shop up and running. Runs on the board, you know? So important and I'm so grateful. Thank you!

Working With The Energies: Full Moon

There's a big and powerful full moon coming up this Sunday. The full moon is always time of letting go of things that no longer serve us, things that are not healthy for us, things that are not in our highest good. It's a really beneficial practice to actively work with the energies of nature; we are one with nature and we feel the effects whether consciously or unconsciously. Think about the effect of the moon on the tides and the ocean. Our bodies are something in the order of 70% water - we too, are affected by the moon.

So yeah, letting go. Life moves in cycles, and there are always things coming and going from our lives, big things and little things. People, situations, emotions, feelings, physical items. We are in a constant dance of energy, things moving in and moving out, the give and the take. The bringing in of the new, and the letting go of the old. It is impossible to bring in anything new when we're clinging on to the old, the things that no longer serve us. And the time of the full moon is the best time in the month for letting things go.

On the physical side of things, it could look like doing a space clearing in your house. Or a spot of decluttering, cleaning, sorting. It's always good to get into the spaces that don't see much movement - in the corners, under the bed (particularly around the bed head area), behind furniture. Even cleaning out the fridge, or at least tossing out the really sad looking bits. Taking all items from surfaces and cleaning, thinking carefully about what to put back and what can go. Burning sage to clear the space is beautiful and ceremonial and brings a freshness to the home.

When it comes to people, places, situations, substances, it can be helpful to take a good look and think about what needs to go. Not that I'm saying kick people out of your life (unless you really need to!) but more about circumstances with people. An ongoing disagreement or irritation, an old emotional pattern that isn't helpful anymore, a situation where ingrained patterns are the norm and you can see the need for change. That sort of thing. For those things, there are many ways you can let go, a good one is to cut the cords of energy going from you to that person/situation/feeling). Just close your eyes, and let your body, your mind, show you where the cords are. Then you can visualise cutting them yourself, with scissors or the like, or you can call in higher powers, like Archangel Michael who can cut them with his sword. All very powerful stuff, any which way you do it.

And for the body, holding the intention of letting go of anything that doesn't serve you over the coming days will work. A dip in the ocean, in the salt water, is a wonderful way to clear the energetic space of the body, and if you can't get to the ocean, taking a sea salt bath at home works beautifully too. A time of eating well, eating fresh foods that nourish the body, avoiding harsh foods or those that get the body all wound up. A time for detoxing.

This is what the full moon is wonderful for. That and sending emotions a bit all over the place. Carrying a piece of Moonstone helps with that emotional stuff.

I'm feeling this full moon energy building quite strongly. Over the past year I've gotten pretty good at letting go of stuff, not always entirely comfortably. So I'll be taking it pretty easy, being gentle with myself, knowing that I'm closer to my emotional edge than I'd like to be. And holding that space with the intention of letting of all that no longer serves me. I'll be doing yin yoga and having sea salt baths if anyone is looking for me.

Have a great weekend!

In a word, Gentle.

Oh, the word for the year thing.

I do have a word for the year, and I have been living and breathing that word for a few weeks now. Quite a lot more weeks to go but I can feel so strongly that this is how my year feels, how I feel, how the energy around me feels, how the energy I create feels.

My word is gentle.

After the last few rollercoaster years of my life, where there have been big shifts, powerful shifts, big events and many changes, life has felt jolted, frantic and hectic. It's been quite the ride, but moving forward, and taking with me all that I have learned from these last few years (and letting go of so much at the same time), I'm ready to embrace gentler times in life.

Gentle with myself, gentle with my child, gentle in my home, gentle in my energy. Being in gentle places, staying away from places that are not so gentle. Being with gentle people, staying away from people who are not so gentle. After all, it is up to us to choose how we spend our time, who we spend it with, where we spend it. And how we feel.

So this is my gentle year. There are massive challenges coming my way this year, already I know this, so my need to dig deep and cultivate gentle is very real. I will be drawing from a very deep well, to bring gentle through with what is coming up. But these times, they are the transformative ones. Yin yoga is helping me amazingly already (there I go about the yin yoga again), I can see it will be a mainstay for me this year. A practice I can sink into each evening, where I can just be in my body, know the safety and security of just being, and breathe gently through this year.

Did you choose a word for the year?

Sit and Meditate

Morning sun hitting the Zebra Jasper.

I wanted to share with you some of my thoughts on meditation and some practical ideas for helping with it, if it's something you're interested in bringing into your life (and if you already meditate). I get frustrated when I read some meditation blogs and web pages and see how complicated people can make the process. It really is very simple. Perhaps that is where the complexity lies, that we just can't deal with that level of simple.

A full breath cycle, watched with full awareness, is meditation. It is that simple. The hard part is sitting still in that space, holding that space, concentrating on the breath cycle, over and over and over again. We want to move. Our mind screams at us and flatly refuses to concentrate on the breath. It wants to think about what's for dinner, or that movie we saw last night, or about the washing that needs to be brought in, the floors that need to be vacuumed and the bills that need to be paid. And the body, well the body doesn't want to sit still any more than the mind does. It wants to fidget, it wants to get up and move, it demands that you move and plays all sorts of tricks on you to get you to move. You suddenly get an itch, that you simply must scratch. Your nose decides to drip, goodness knows you can't let that happen. Your legs scream at you that they will go numb, and then they actually do start to go numb - you can't possibly sit through that.

Actually, you can.

I suspect a lot of would-be meditators give up out of frustration that they're not doing it 'right' when all these sorts of things happen. That it's not turning out how the book/webpage/teacher said, that this supposed blissful meditative state is anything but blissful and that there is something wrong with what they're doing, or they just can't do it. Which is very sad, because in reality, these things happen to everyone. The trick is simply to just be aware of it, and come back to the meditation, every single time.

Every time the mind wanders to think about the washing, there is a moment when your awareness tells you - oh, my mind has wandered, I'm not focused on my meditation at the moment, I'm thinking about the washing. This point, where you become aware of the wandering mind, this is the point where you strengthen your meditation, by going back to the meditation (whatever the focus of the meditation may be). And that is a wonderful thing! That is a new moment of awareness, of choosing to notice the mind wandering, and simply bring it back to the meditation. And this can happen over, and over, and over, and over and over. And that is a meditation. And that is perfect. You can think of the meditation like sitting at a train station, watching trains (thoughts) come and go, and letting them come and go, without worrying about them or getting attached to them. Just keep coming back to the meditation.

And the body, when it tells you that it simply cannot sit still, when every cell of your body wants to move, even just a little bit, that is another beautiful place to build awareness and stillness. Because every time it comes up, where you feel you must move, have to move, but choose instead to sit still anyway, that is strengthening the stillness of meditation. Stillness begins in the body, not the mind, so allowing the stillness to strengthen is an important aspect of meditation. If you simply notice the itch without scratching, what happens? Eventually it disappears. If you nose drips, what happens? Our hygienic programming tells us all sorts of things, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. And if our legs go numb, get pins and needles, what happens? Well, they get pins and needles. You might have to sit for a few minutes more when you come back out of the meditation, give them time to recover, but nothing else happens.

This is not a post about actually doing a meditation, this is simply my thoughts and experience about the process of meditation. There's this idea that you have to have a 'quiet mind' and that if you don't, you're not doing it right. And that's such an unrealistic expectation to hold. Some days, the mind will wander and chatter and jump all over the place, and that's ok. And some days the body will want to fidget, will find strange aches and pains, will refuse to sit still, and that's ok too. And on some other days, the mind is less active, calmer, quieter, and that's ok. And some days the body loves it, wants to sink into the meditation, finds so much peace in sitting still, and that's ok too. My own experience is that the days of calmer mind and peaceful body are more frequent the longer you do the practice (I'm talking a long time, a lot of years). But even then, there are times when the mind races and the body fidgets. It's called being human, and the only thing that makes a meditator is the ability to sit with that, accept it and not attach to any of it. Sometimes, the greatest insights come from the busy mind/fidgety body days.

There is only one thing that makes a meditation a good one for me - and that is simply doing it. Whatever happens in that meditation is not the point. Sitting, showing up, doing the meditation, that is the point.

Shop Talk

I hardly ever mention my shop here on the blog and I guess that stems from the old days (like, a year ago) when talking about crystals and metaphysical stuff was something I kept fairly private, I suppose because I often felt like it was an unusual interest, even though it was more than an interest, but still, a bit different. But since that side of life has become even more important (the spiritual aspect), talking about crystals just feels very normal now. Plus I do love talking about crystals, to pretty much anyone who will listen.

I started my shop almost a year ago now, probably spot on a year from the point where I had one of those flashes of inspiration to start the shop. At the time I didn't give any thought to how the shop would go, in terms of growth and success, other than that I didn't think I would make any money out of it in the first year. I was wrong, at some point in the second half of the year it started to build up momentum, and I started to see that I could grow this thing a bit bigger, and a bit bigger again. And I learned there is a point where it would be too big for just me to manage, which is also handy to know, as I'm now positioning it to be at a sustainable level for me to manage physically, and which provides a little income as well.

The thing it always comes back to for me is that I just love working with crystals, and sharing crystals, and there is a part of me, being a Gemini and all, that loves and thrives on the commerce side of things. I have fun with it. There have also been times in the past year where I've wondered if it's all worth it, but in getting through those times, I still say a big yes. It is worth it. And of course my shop has evolved over the past year, and will continue to evolve, although I do feel that I've found my 'place' in the crowded market that is online crystal shops. One big lesson for me in business is that when you're in your element, there is no competition. There is space for everyone to do what they do and it is always worth supporting other businesses in the same market. I honestly feel that the very competitive mode of doing business is outdated.

Crystals are such a huge part of my everyday life. Most of the time I have too many little crystals stuffed into my pockets, just bringing with me whatever energy I feel I need or want to connect to in my days. There is usually a crystal under my pillow at night, there are crystals on the bedside table, on the mantlepiece, the fridge, shelves, the bench, everywhere. And then shop crystals on top of that. I will openly admit that it's become a bit too much, but the collection continues to grow. I often meditate with a crystal in my hand (the non-dominant hand, as this is the one that receives energy) and it is an excellent way to really connect with the energy of a crystal. Some of my most profound meditative experiences have come from meditating with crystals. So I guess I'm lucky in that my shop is based on something I myself am truly passionate about.

It does take work though and right now I've got a mountain of crystals waiting to be listed, a bunch of orders waiting to be packed and posted and a bunch of administrative work to catch up on. All of which I love doing, but gosh it would be easier if there were 30 hours in a day instead of 24. Anyway I thought I would start talking about the shop a bit more in this space, so each Saturday I'll be doing my Shop Talk post. If you haven't yet had a look at the shop, hop on over and take a look! It's a work in progress, just like everything else, and it's one that I love.

This and That

We've been getting around heaps on the bike lately, my little and I. My very old but not quite vintage race mountain bike from 2005, the one I stopped the racing circus with, is now our commuter machine and I love it. Its the bike I took to New Zealand and had so many adventures on there, it's the one I took to pedal across Nepal and Tibet, it's the one I've held onto the longest and am so very attached to, and now it's the one with the kiddo seat on the back and an awesome little kiddo tucked up in it. And thankfully this kiddo loves going out on the bike too, I am very happy about that.

We pedal to the post office to post parcels of crystals (with a nice big hill to climb on the way, which keeps my legs happy), we pedal to playgrounds for a play and we pedal out for rides to go exploring, and just because we like riding. I remember when I was brand new at riding (as an adult) and the feeling of exhilaration at getting about under my own steam, covering substantial distances, and without the use of a car. I still get that feeling, so many years on. For me it's just a complete feeling of independence and self-reliance. Plus I get fit along the way, which has always been important to me too.

*  *  *  *  *

I'm still so smitten with yin yoga. The more I do this practice, the more I love it. I've followed this short sequence on You Tube a few times, and honestly, working these asana's on my own, holding them for a while, sinking into them - I can feel my energy moving, clearing in my body - a twitch in my eye, little flashes here and there as things are released, mysterious pains that flare up and soon enough vanish again. I wish I had known about this 10 years ago. 20 years ago. I will probably crap on about yin yoga fairly often here as I'm just blown away at how powerful this practice is.

I've come to an evening routine that includes a session of yin yoga, before I do my meditation. I meditate in the evenings before bed, and it's something I hold sacred and don't skip (except for maybe 3 days in a year). But I'm noticing that when I do the yin yoga before the meditation, I'm straight away into a deep, quiet meditation, without the mind chatter and thoughts. It's the stillness in the body, the stillness cultivated by the yin yoga, that brings me to this place. The stillness begins in the body, and the mind follows. I wish I had known about this 10 years ago!

*  *  *  *  *

It occurs to me that I may, just may, have quit chocolate... Well when I say 'quit chocolate', do you ever really quit eating it forever? I think my definition for quit chocolate, for me, means quitting buying blocks of chocolate to keep on hand, just for when I want a little piece (which means quite a few pieces, quite often). From just before the new year, I gobbled down the last of the block of chocolate I had and there I stopped... I haven't bought any and to be honest, I haven't wanted it. I've not even been tempted to get myself a little bit of chocolate.

I have been constantly supplying my body with chocolate for years, and it definitely increased with motherhood, to get me through the energy lows. The after dinner little piece of chocolate, that was my nemesis. But after a stint of just going without, just because, I noticed how much better I felt for not having it. And then I got more, and it was yummy, but I noticed my heart racing, feeling edgy, feeling sugared up... and I didn't like that feeling. Not when it became so obvious, after a break. So yeah, quitting chocolate. My definition of quitting chocolate doesn't extend to cooking chocolate so I'm still allowed to bake chocolatey things, just for something a bit special. Although it's not quite vegan either... Sheesh when did it all get so complicated?

*  *  *  *  *

I hope you've all had a great week and I hope you all have a great weekend! x

In Breaths and Out Breaths

The things we collect on our walks.

In breath, and out breath. In breath, and out breath. Repeat, over and over and over again. This is how we live our life, right? In breath, out breath. In breath, out breath. Something we perhaps take for granted most of the time.

Some of my earliest meditation training was in watching the breath, but not in the usual cliche way of just 'watch your breath'. It was more like being in full awareness of every moment, every part of the breath cycle, and took concentration to stay with. A very deep practice, simple but deep and one I still do, because it's wonderful.

On the inhale, notice the beginning, the middle and the end (the point where you have finished inhaling). Notice a pause, where air is transferred in the lungs, some in and some out. Notice the beginning, the middle and the end of the pause. Notice the exhale, the beginning, the middle and the end. And notice the space at the end of the breath, once the exhale has ended but before the next inhale begins. So spacious.

I love that space. That space, in between the breaths, that is the space where the quiet mind can be found. The commonly held idea is that meditation is trying to quiet the mind, yet to me, that's going the wrong way about it. The mind is what it is, it wants to think and to chatter and to always be going. The body is the place of stillness, the breath; using the mind to focus on the stillness of the body, the mind is so full of concentration that there is no space for thoughts. That place between the ending of the out breath and the beginning of the in breath, that is the place where, if you are concentrating on the rest of the breath cycle, you will find the stillness of mind. It is fleeting, it is momentary, the mind wants to attach to it and think about it. And then the next in breath comes along. The more you connect to that space in between, the easier it is to find it again, and again, and again.

And then I look at our days, the in breaths and out breaths and spaces in our days. The times when we're doing, moving, and the times when we let go and rest. There must be a balance, between the moments in our days of doing things, and the moments when we pause. The in breath of action, the out breath of letting go. The pause between the two, and the space at the end. I know that in my days, I can work towards a greater balance; less of the in breath and doing, more of the out breath and letting go. Bringing rhythm, harmony, the beat of life to our days.

Because in the end, one day there will be no more breaths, so we might as well notice and appreciate them while we're here. It just is how it is.

Simple Things: Ditching Tinned Foods

When I first became vegetarian, quite a few years ago now, and even before actually as I rarely cooked with meat at home, I was heavily reliant on buying tins of pulses - just the basics, kidney beans, lentils, cannellini beans, chickpeas. And I'm still pretty reliant on those basics, although with a few more thrown into the mix these days, but I have managed to ditch the tins. It was something I thought about so often at the time, looking at just how many resources were used in the processing and manufacture of the food (manufacture of food, it just sounds wrong) - the waste of so much aluminium, the big factory where they would have been produced, the logistics of transporting them from factory to supermarket. It's huge.

I'm not fully there with being able to grow my own everything (not even close, lets be honest) but at the very least, I now only buy dried pulses and do the preparation of them myself. I was always put off by the part about 'soak beans overnight' when I was thinking about what to make for dinner, to eat right now. Obviously soaking beans overnight was not going to be an option, but a tin of beans was quick and convenient and that's exactly what I got by on for a long time.

It really wasn't until I started doing menu planning, when I had a little baby and was trying to establish some rhythm to my days, that I got into the habit of being able to prepare beans and pulses ahead of time. And there was some experimentation about learning how to cook them just right after the soaking, which was easy enough, but still took it's time. It's all a process though, and a few more years down the track I'm very confident now in my bean soaking and cooking process. These days I tend to just make up a batch, not too big but enough for a few meals, and pop the extras in the freezer for when I need them. So I still have the convenience of having beans ready for a quick meal when I need them, but without the tins (or the factory processing, at least not for the cooking part).

It is such a very simple change, to be able to move away from buying tinned foods to preparing from scratch with dried pulses, but the place where the change is truly made is in being organised - organised with a weekly meal plan, organised with having enough dried pulses on hand for your needs, organised with actually soaking and cooking them ahead of time. For all of it's simplicity, it took me years to actually make the change.

This is my very simple way of preparing dried pulses. Soak a quantity of pulses in a saucepan with a lid, for 8 hours or overnight (usually on the bench or in the fridge if it's hot). If I'm not organised and pushed for time I will sometimes cut that down to 6 hours instead of 8. Then simply drain the soaking water, replace it with fresh water and pop it on the stove. Bring to a boil then simmer on very low heat for an hour or so, and test when you think they might be done. You might need to top up the water if it gets a little low. Then simply put into freezer-safe containers and freeze them, or use them in cooking. Done! How easy is that? I really love the very slow cooking aspect to this as well, mine always turn out nicely when cooked very slowly.

No more tins, no more super heavy shopping bags to lug around and it's easier to get a wide selection of pulses, and often organic, when they're dried (if you have a good health or whole foods shop nearby). My last area to make the change away from tins (well two actually) is tinned tomatoes, I am still caught up in that cycle but looking to make changes, and pet food. Cat food in particular. But, a step at a time when transitioning to simpler living. Changes that take time to make are often the ones that last, and every little change helps.

Finish Something Old

I started working again on a crochet blanket that I started almost a year ago now I suppose. With yarns that I had to rush out and buy, about a year before that. It's been a slow one, that's for sure. But it felt so good to pick it up again, work out where I had left off, realise a mistake in the last piece I had been working on (probably why I stopped), undo the mistake and start going again. And now it is going again, I want to keep up the momentum and bring this blanket to life.

We're currently under a retrograde Mercury, if you're into your astrology you'll know what I'm talking about. Every three or four months, Mercury does this funny thing where it appears to be going backwards (it's never really going backwards, but from our view, it looks that way). It lasts for about three weeks. And the effect on us here on Earth, can also leave us feeling like we're going backwards - or not necessarily backwards, but going back to something, redoing, revisiting, revising. All good and helpful things really.

Mercury retrograde gets a pretty bad reputation from most sources - don't make travel plans, don't sign a contract, don't start anything new... don't don't don't! Blah. It is what it is and we can choose to use the energies to help us or we can fall into the negativity trap about it. I used to do the latter but these days I'm doing the former. Life whizzes past in a blur and any chance to go back and catch up on the things missed on the first pass is a good thing. Personally, I like contracts with a little wiggle room (or a lot!), so I'm all for signing contracts under Mercury reverse.

So why not make the most of the current astrological weather, and finish something old? Have you got any old projects sitting around waiting for 'some day'? I have more than enough, but I'll focus on my blanket project for now. It's a good way also to value what we already have, going back and seeing what we have left unfinished, rather than always rushing on to the next new thing. Simple, mindful, wonderful.

Getting Dirty.

My little one is so happy to wander around barefoot everywhere. Me, not so much. I have this thing with dirt. I love having it, I love digging in it, I love growing plants in it, but I'm not so keen on getting it on me. Unless it comes from a few hours spent riding my bike, then I'm happy to bask in my dirt tan, but otherwise, not so keen on dirt.

I don't think I was always this way. I remember as a kid, going to my horse riding lesson each week and afterwards, I would want to stay in my (dirty, grotty) riding gear as long as possible and I didn't want to wash my hands, because they smelled like horse. Which I loved. Now? Well, I suppose I became a grown up, or perhaps, I became responsible for keeping the house clean and free from dirt, and horse.

I imagine there is a continuum of sorts for dirt tolerance, and my little one is somewhere at the very high tolerance end and I am somewhere at the very low tolerance end. And I wonder how healthy it is to be where I am. It's almost like I've developed a little anxiety about it. I'm certainly super vigilant about not bringing dirt into the house, and I'll acknowledge that I'm a little too vigilant about it.

This little one teaches me every single day, showing myself to me, showing me all the parts of me that have become - out of touch, I suppose. I mean we are creatures of the Earth as much as any other animal, yet we build ourselves nice clean houses and have nice clean clothes and remove ourselves from it, keep it 'out there'. But in doing that, we lose touch with our connection to our Earth, and with much of our abilities to ground, and to sense, feel, from contact with the Earth. Quite literally, our feet are designed to sense things from the ground up, and yet we cover them up, most often in synthetic materials, and lose our ability to tune in and connect with the Earth. We do ourselves a disservice.

I know it is something I need to work on, relaxing myself enough to forget about keeping the house (and me) clean and instead, focus on enjoying the moments of connection, through bare feet on the Earth. Not just on the special days when we go to the beach or to a park and kick off our shoes, but in the everyday. In the vegie garden, is probably a good place to start.

Taking lessons from my kid, every single day.

And Then I Discovered Yin Yoga

I could just sit and watch them grow.

I was reading a book not so long ago, called Don't Let Anything Dull Your Sparkle by Doreen Virtue, and she talks a bit about yin yoga in the book. A yoga practice that is slower, softer, feminine and gentle. Holding poses (I suppose I should start to use yoga speak, asana's) for quite a long time, just sinking into the body, abiding in the stillness of the pose and finding the quiet within. It all sounds blissful and in my experience, it is.

Anyway, before reading her words, I had not heard of yin yoga and I'm new at the yoga path in general, having taken it up only 6 months ago. But, I knew very early on that yoga was going to be part of my everyday life as I was instantly taken with how these simple body poses are so calming, so cleansing, so life altering and yet so simple. So yes, yoga is here to stay for me. But this yin yoga thing was all new again.

As soon as I read her words about it, I knew exactly what pose I needed to be in. The one that my book even says to hold for 3 minutes and I hold for, ooh maybe 30 seconds. Pigeon pose. That one. Hmmm. So that evening, after reading this book, I got out my mat, warmed up a little, spent some time in child pose and then went into deep long holds each side for pigeon pose. I stayed there through the resistance, my body wanting to move, demanding to move, screaming to move and then sighing and giving in to the pose. And I stayed a little longer again. Beautiful. I already knew I loved yin yoga.

Anyway, about 3 hours later, I woke up in bed with a powerful energy shift. It was like something from my abdomen was literally torn apart with two flashes of light, one heading to my feet and the other to my head. I knew instantly it was because of that yin yoga, the pigeon pose. The one I had been avoiding. The word that popped into my head was purging. And then the nausea struck. And shortly after that, the purging began.

I spent the next 10-odd hours being incredibly ill, completely incapable of parenting so nana was called in (thankfully) and wondering when it was all going to end. But at the same time, I knew that this was a huge, massive energy shift for me, an extremely powerful and physical release, and I was immensely grateful at the same time. That nausea, I had carried it around with me for over a decade. Probably two. And it was finally shifting.

It's funny the way we store 'stuff' in our bodies. The things we haven't dealt with, don't want to deal with; the feelings that are too hard to feel so we stuff them down and pretend they aren't there. I don't even know what was held in that nausea, but I knew it was there. Many years ago, more than 10 and well before I was ever on any truly spiritual path, I did some Chi Gong classes, and that's where I first confronted my nausea. Crazy, that these strange poses could leave me knocked out on the floor feeling sick as a dog. And the nausea was still there years later when I did my first Reiki attunement, back when I was pregnant with my boy. Excruciating, and in all honesty I'm glad it didn't shift too much under those circumstances, seated in a group circle and all (I had a spirit guide standing behind my chair throughout that one, holding me up, bless her). And in more recent times, the constant nagging nausea, the lump in my throat, the number of times I tried to make myself sick just to shift it, I could feel it so strongly (from all the energy cleaning work I've done, I suppose, stripping away layer after layer, getting to the heart of the matter). Course it didn't budge. Not until pigeon pose.

I hope I'm not turning you off yin yoga here, but I do love this story. I love that after so many years, after so much healing, clearing, shifting energy, I finally got to experience this seismic shift. We are all so different in how we process and deal with stuff, and my story might be on the extreme end of things (I do get great big explosive shifts, and to be honest, it suits me just fine) but I cannot emphasise the beauty of yin yoga enough. Also called restorative yoga, it is truly such a gentle yet deep and profound practice, and so very simple to do. No crazy difficult poses, no working up a sweat, not at all. Just deep, gentle and healing. This is where I'll be dedicating my yoga practice in the most part this year, slowly, gently and powerfully restorative.

Do you do yoga? I was very late to get on the yoga train but I absolutely love it now. It is a life changer for me.

Prayer.

I think one of the biggest things I have learned in the past year, with my awakening and the life events that followed, is to have faith in the power of prayer. I pretty much went from someone who prayed maybe once every 5 years to someone who prays, heaps. I mean heaps. 

I suppose that I now see how powerful it is, to pray, and literally ask for help from above with things in life. I have seen almost immediate results in some cases - I pray for more money in the bank and a sale goes through my shop shortly after. I pray for guidance and I find it in the words of someone on my Instagram feed. I pray to be filled with love energy and I can instantly feel my heart chakra pumping. 

Those are pretty small examples, or perhaps not small but just very specific. I pray a lot more for the big stuff, not just for me but for everyone on this here planet we live on. I have faith in the power of prayer, and sometimes that is all I have faith in. Once upon a time I thought prayer was only for religious people, so I was put off as I was never drawn to organised religion (Buddhism aside, but I find that more philosophy than religion). I was wrong; there is nothing religious about prayer. 

We live in an imperfect world, where many many wrongs and injustices have taken place and continue to take place. I wonder just how many of us it takes, to pray for things to be different, to bring about real change. To be honest, I gave up on politics as a means of change a very long time ago. Long before I knew of other ways to effect change. But now I do know other ways, and prayer is a big one of those. 

Can I ask one thing? If you feel so inclined, could you join me in a prayer - anytime, anywhere, everywhere. I just pray that children are safe and protected in this world. All children, everywhere.

That's me for today. 

Mindful in the Moment

For my 21st birthday, quite a few birthdays ago now, my mum gave me a book called Forgiveness and Other Acts of Love by Stephanie Dowrick, because I suppose at the time, life was feeling a little bit shit. So it was an early introduction to ideas of mindfulness, although that wasn't a specific subject of the book, perhaps more an undercurrent to the ideas she presents. I still have the book and it's one that I pick up from time to time now, flipping to a page here or there and and revisiting her wisdom.

Like it or not, the past year of life has presented many opportunities for me to practice mindfulness. In those moments when life feels like it is closing in, when it feels like events beyond your control but that which deeply affect you are threatening to submerge you, when it almost feels like you can't breathe, can't think, and you want more than anything for life to be different to how it is. Those are the moments when you need mindfulness. Or perhaps I should say, those are the moments when you truly learn mindfulness.

In mindfulness, it doesn't matter what may be going on around you. All the worries and niggles and thoughts that can keep a mind racing and a body tense, they all get put aside. It happens moment by moment. Watching the steam rise from a hot cup of tea, watching your arm, your hand as you life the cup of tea, noticing deeply how the tea tastes and feels as you take a sip. That is a moment of mindfulness. Hanging the washing out to dry, pegging each item carefully, folding it again when you bring it in - slowly, carefully, methodically. Mindfully. Feeling the warm sun on your back, truly watching your child be absorbed in the world of play, feeling the breeze on your cheek. That is a moment of mindful.

For all that we experience in our lives, the things we call good and the things we call bad, in all of that, we still function, we still live. We have a choice of either getting caught up in our head, worrying about this, wondering about that, figuring out the other; where our breath becomes shallow and our thoughts are on things far removed from what we are doing in that moment. Or, we can choose to live in the moment, breathing deeply into the belly, attention focused on the task at hand, mind engaged on what is, now. On the one hand it may make no difference, but actually, it makes all the difference. And in every single moment, we have that choice, of being mindful or absent-minded.

Being mindful in the moment may not change what is happening in your life. Things happen that are beyond our control - other people, situations, circumstances. But it does change you - how you breathe, your state of mind, your level of wellbeing. How you breathe your breaths is entirely up to you - shallow or deep. What you focus your mind on is entirely up to you - present or absent. Whether you choose to notice the little things in everyday life or miss them all while you worry about this, that or the other - that is all up to you. All of it comes down to mindfulness, and mindfulness is something that is inherent within us and easily developed. Moment by moment.

So how do you practice mindfulness? It is so simple, and perhaps that's where the difficulty lies. Be aware, right now, in this moment. Are of your breath. Is it deep and restorative, or shallow and weak? What are you doing, in this moment, how is your posture, are you hunched over and tense, or relaxed, with open lungs? Are you carrying tension in your body anywhere right now, and if you are, can you release it? Are you focused on what you are doing, really noticing each action, or are the mind and body in separate places?

When we consciously decide to become mindful, we choose to fully engage with our life. The stressors in life may not go away, but their impact on your life, on your quality of life, on your wellbeing, are so much smaller. So much smaller. It is a skill for life, to be mindful and to live in the moment, and one that deserves more attention, especially in the world we now live in.

The more mindful I become, the more aware I become of how often I'm not mindful. Yet every moment, every breath, brings a new opportunity to be present to life.